Where do I start...?
Okay, well today's quibble is a bit of a long one - but it is more of a "double quibble"!
The first issue I will be whingeing about today will be my health care providers and how I'm not the only one either! Mums to be need to be in the know!
Secondly - the system - again! What a mess!
Ok, so Midwives...
At my stage (36wks and 6 days)I should be seen every week by my midwife, apart from the fact that getting information about the baby and my pregnancy is like getting gold dust out of a tree - she has been away on holiday for the past week so my home visit appt was cancelled for this week - I had to make an appt last week to be seen because I wanted answers (didn't get them - the two midwives in charge just wanted to go home and rushed my check up - said he was head down but not engaged which was a little upsetting considering all the pain I was hoping he was engaged or at least engaging) - anyway, I rang her today and she's off sick for another couple of weeks so I see these two "hens" next Friday.
I call them that because they were too busy chatting to each other and giggling and rushing about to bother with me, they just checked me, wrote notes (only my blood pressure and that baby's heart rate was heard) and got me out as soon as poss, one even said to the other as I was leaving "Does this mean we can go home now?"
When I asked one of them who was doing the examination "What position is he in?" she replied, "He's head down." then I asked if engaged, she replied "No, not at your stage, you're only 32 weeks" then the other midwife corrected her saying "34 plus weeks" then I said, "No, I'm 36 weeks." the reply was "Not according to the computer you're not due till December." And I'm going, "It's November... I'm due in N O V E M B E R!!!"
Grrrr....
Last night I had concerns and ended up sending a message to a midwife on the site Allexperts.com, she was rather concerned that I wasn't booked a routine appt instead of the home visit this week and insisted I should be seen weekly at my stage.
I also mentioned (TMI, sorry) extra discharge and cramps I've been getting and she told me I should be seen and checked regularly.
It is pointless ringing the surgery because the midwives only do ante natal checks on Fridays and I do have an appt for Friday next week. But I'm just so annoyed.
A lot of other mothers I have spoken to online seem to know so much more than me about their pregnancies like the size of their baby, if they're dilated etc... and I am certain it is just typical of this town (small West Yorks mining town) - it is so backwards here.
If it were a city I was living in I am sure I would have had all my questions answered - I had a fantastic doctor in York when I lived there, she was great, but in this town they are so... slack! It's like because there is such a high pregnancy rate here, that I am just a number and I don't seem to or actually feel like I get the right care.
And when you ask questions or argue I have noticed here that you are deemed a "difficult patient" (one of the midwives mentioned a previous patient before me then said "You're not going to be difficult are you?")
Right then so that was stress enough! Then to make things a little more hard... the System!
I successfully came off Incapacity Benefit for 2 reasons (1 I NEEDED my sure start maternity grant and was rejected for it in Incapacity and 2 I NEEDED WORK - TEMP WORK, HOME WORK - Any WORK because my Creditors have been putting so much pressure on, I struggle to live off what I get). So I signed onto JSA...
They questionned it, they queried it, they told me "You won't get paid for another 2 weeks because your Incapacity payment already went out on the system" so I said "What do I live on?" the advisor replies "Perhaps you could apply for a Crisis Loan?" No, I can't get to the nearest town where they deal with it - that is nearly 10 miles away, I have to wait for the post, by then it will be about 2 weeks before I hear from them unless i travel, and because I am about to give birth in the next couple of weeks or so, getting a bus is quite daunting right now. So... I applied for my grant - Hurray - got finally accepted.
But... I rang JSA people yesterday to ask the question "When I am in hospital giving birth and maybe have to stay in for a couple of days, if one of those days is a signing day, am I exempt from coming in to sign?" The reply was: No! You should NOT be on JSA, you are pregnant! So, they arranged without my consent, to cancel my JSA and told me to claim Income Support. Which I did try and claim before but was rejected on the grounds that I had been on Incapacity - I got accused of "working the system" last time I tried to go onto Income Support because of pregnancy, so I had rang CAB who said, if you can't get that, perhaps you could get some temp work if you're really struggling. Of course, if you're looking for work, you don't go on Incapacity. You are actively seeking a job, so JSA.
I have attended a job interview recently (past 4 weeks back), I write to agencies regularly, I also apply for permanent work to start in New Year after the birth. So technically I am actively looking for work and would work right up to my due date!
So... this messes up my Housing and Council tax also, and I am due to give birth very soon and I am wound up every single damn day, because I am expected to run around sorting these bloody finances out! Picking up the phone, arguing with people who saw "THESE ARE THE RULES!" "TOUGH LUCK!" and I H A T E them! To the point where if anyone rings me I hate it! I snap at everyone on the phone. I am so sick of it all! I WANT TO WORK - BUT I'M 9 MONTHS PREGNANT, yet I get spoken down to like I am a BUM!
I have had a really crap year, I have been unable to work due to illness but still applied, still went to interviews but got turned down the minute I had to declare my problems (which by law I had to), I have tried setting up my own Biz - which folded and landed me in a lot of debt trouble. I am still paying all that off now out of my benefit money.
I am tempted to run! I am tempted to change my name and run from them! I tried to better things for myself even though I was ill, and could not actually cope with it, but I pushed and pushed to make things right and got it thrown back in my face, then treated like a bum by the authorities, and I just want to move house, change my name, start my career afresh, make something of my life and be someone else!
I am doing a University course from home to start my new career, I plan to be working full time after baby's birth, hubby plans to be full time dad, truth is known - I am terrified it is all going to go wrong! Because I am the Queen of Sods Law! I'm certain - that or cursed! I am scared to actually DO anything like get a pension, invest, anything like that because I am scared I'll not get a chance - maybe lose my job again, land in more debt, and it is me that has to answer to the Debt Collectors.
I have tried CCCS - they won't help - because the bills are Utility Bills and Advertising Bills, I have contact CAB - they gave me a budget plan which left me with about £10 a week to feed myself with, which is - pretty much right. Then when I have baby on way, I cut down my repayments to fund some nappies, or to fund some formula - then I get a threatening letter "PAY US WHAT WE DEMAND OR THE BAILIFFS ARE COMING!" that is my electric board saying that! And I pay them every fortnight without fail - but they hate what little amount I can manage to give them!
I want to go postal on them all!!! I have written to local papers about the state of things with benefits, system, creditors etc... and how they treat people - no one prints it! I have made complaints the proper way, I never get a reply!
What drives some of us to commit a crime? Frustration? Anger? No where to turn? What can a Counsellor do? He can't help you pay your bills! And you know the depression and panic attacks come from the stress of debt, and well, all of the above - and you KNOW the cure is to make money, to work, pay it off - so you try! But if everything gets thrown back in your face - what do you do then?
What DO you do? What would Joe Public do about it in that situation?
I actually put that to a creditor once, she was EVIL! Threatening emails every week because she wanted me to pay more money per fortnight. And I wrote back with that same scenario.
Well call her Sandra (that's not her real name) - I said to her in my most recent mail in reply to her demands "When you lose your job Sandra, and mark my words you will one day, and you care plunged into debt, struggling to pay it, have child or a child on the way, a house to pay for, bills to pay, you live in an area where work is low paid and limited and you compete against many for the same jobs, it take months to find some work, in the meantime, you get demands, threatening letters, stress, you can't cope with anything, refuse to answer the phone because you've had enough of rowing with creditors who refuse to accept your low payments. What will YOU do?"
